A hapless paddy on tour

I slept really well and arrived in good form in Xian. When I got off the train there was the usual hard sell from Chinese hawkers keen to take me to there hostels. One chap, who was very persistent, kept mentioning the lying Planet so I asked his name. He replied Jim Beam . At last something was going my way. The lying planet had raved about this chat so I felt safe in his company. He kindly helped me book my ticket train for the next day and we were on our way to the hostel. Shortly outside we were approached by a rather irate chap who flashed a police badge. Jim asked me my name and requested that I followed him. I nearly shat my pants. We were lead to a police station where after some heated debate a mobile phone was given by Jim to the Police man. The police man asked me where I was from and smiled. We swiftly left and Jim explained that in order for him to enter the station he had to bribe the cops. Relieved that their beef wasn't with me I hit off to the hostel, the Lu dao hotel. When we arrived I was informed that there were no dorms available, despite the fact that its winter here and that the hostel was dead. I bargained for a single room with some reservations but it turned out to be a good choice. I showered and set off to see the big goose pagoda. To my annoyance I paid an entrance fee in to the park but on reaching the actual pagoda I was asked again to pay admittance. It seems that is very common at all the Chinese historical sights. Afterwards I headed to the mosque in the centre of Xian. This was a marvellous building unlike any mosque I had seen before. The architecture was typically Chinese with a centre court but it felt a little strange seeing all these Chinese people walking around in Muslim clothes. Afterwards I headed for some dumplings and a well deserved beer. Tomorrow I hit the terracotta warriors and other sites in Xian before taking a 16 hour train to Chengdu to see the panda reserve. The train ticket was really cheap so I'm assuming the levels of comfort from my first train Journey will not be available on this one!

The days was projected to start at 7.30 with a wake up call from the hostel. Unfortunately the day started at 3.15am as my dorm mate was snoring like nothing I had heard before. Above my bed I heard the shuffles of my other dorm mate who was obviously was caught in a similar state of purgatory. And in this half awake half sleep state I would remain until the wake up call came. On hearing the knock my snoring room mate awoke from his deep slumber and threw off his dooner to answer the door. I started in horror as I realized that he was intending to answer the door bollix naked!!! This guy was a real character an ex seaman from Manchester now retired. During some of the few chats that we had he had made known his deep inherent hatred of women. Ironically every time I saw him outside the hostel he had two young Chinese ladies in toe. Make of it what you will.

I dressed showered and made my way on the tourist bus to the great wall. The bus's first stop was at what appeared to be a jade shop of some description. Shit, the lying planet warning me about this. why oh why do I never go into the detail of the tour to prevent this. Out of soberness I refused to go in and sat on the steps smoking fags in the blistering cold. While outside I got chatting to a Canadian girl by the name of Sandra. She seemed fairly cool and had a good sense of humor so we hung out for the day.

the wall was amazing but very steep in parts. The area we had come to was renowned for having the most tourists and so it was fairly packed. Sandra and I set off as far as we could to avoid the crowds. The views were amazing and only spoiled by the hoards of Chinese vendors trying to sell you postcards and certificates. Now I know there only trying to make a crust but there is only so many times you can hear "looky look" or the "heeeewoo". And why the hell would I climb up 4 sections of the great wall without buying a postcard only to change my mind on the way down.

After dinner we headed for the Ming tombs. However, on route we had the next unscheduled stop at a Chinese traditional medicine center. Shit, the book had warned about this also. We bailed into a room where we were informed that although the Professors were very busy they would be able to give us a free consultation. Not wishing to offend I stepped up to the doctor. The nurse asked me my age , nationality, and to stick out my tongue. Within 30 he seconds he had diagnosed me with a warm liver, back and shoulder & pain. I was proscribed some herbs that would remedy these but too my surprise they didn’t have them in stock!

The Ming tombs were cool but the inside had been heavily reconstructed since the 1950 and most of the artifacts, including the coffins, were copies. The Chinese, as any one who has ever visited the country will tell you, have an obsession with copies. From North Face to Ralph Loren you can get it here.

Sandra and I decided that we would get off the bus near the Hutong area and explorer the old city. After some heavy bargaining we set off on our tuk tuk around the hutong. Our driver was very pleasant and kept us amused for the trip. The small traditional dwellings in the Hutong was a welcome break for the modern high-rises and glitzy neon. We then got a cab to the across the city to see the acrobats in action. The journey took over a hour due to the high volume of traffic. The driver got about 3.50 for his troubles. If I was offered 35 pounds to be stuck on the north circular in London for an hour I would refuse and here was this guy doing it for a living for 10 times less!

The show itself was stunning. The Arial stunts by these professionals were like nothing I had seen before. It was well worth the 120 Yuan we paid. After the show we headed for some Peking duck and a bottle of Chinese read wine, both of which impressed me immensely. I bid good bye to Sandra and made my way back to the hostel. Tired but satisfied with the achievements of the day I headed to the bar for a couple of swifties to help drown out the noise of my snoring room mate. Thankfully he had checked out so sleep would come easily tonight.

woke up at 10 and quickly decided that a trip to both the lama temple and the Summer Place would be just too much. My Train leaves at 8.30 tonight for Xian so a trip to the lama temple is all that’s on the cards I set off for Llama temple which thankfully was close to my hostel. I decided that the summer palace was just too far and at the end of the day it is garden and it is winter! I had really wanted to see the marble boat from the reign of Cixis but time was just not on my side. I toured around the temple for about 2 hours and was pleasantly surprised . The temples were exquisite pieces of work so I was glad I had made the effort. Afterwards I headed to the clothing market to get some food and a beer. Black bean beef, rice and a pint for under a pound, happy days. Afterwards I went back to my hostel and grabbed my bags for the train station. The station itself was a modern marvel and easy to navigate. As i got there early I decided to treat myself to a beer before the journey. I had no idea what the trains would be like so I figured a beer would ease the pain if the trip was a nightmare. To my surprise the train was as modern as I have ever taken. I shared a room with a Chinese girl but all that was exchanged was smiles due to the language barrier. The beds while small were comfortable and clean. The train took just under 12 hours to travel 1200km. British rail take note.

ok. Well I’m three days in to my trip from Beijing to Bombay and as yet I haven’t left a single entry in my online diary. I typed out the three days entries but the god damn computer crashed and I couldn’t be arsed typing it out again. Just a brief summary of what I have done over the past three days.

25/11/2005 Arrived in Beijing and it took me hours to get accommodation. Got smashed in the bar /adjoining my Hostel with a Canadian chap by the name of Christy.

26/11/2005 Next day I set of exploring the forbidden city and Tiananmen square at night . Finished the day with a few Gin & tonic and bed by 12!

27/11/2005 Explored the temple of heaven and Tiananmen square by day.